Granny Mary's
Morning Funny Farm

Volume No. 6,290

 
Sunday, March 06, 2011 07:34 AM
 
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Published Since October 3, 1994   


 
Article of the Day

 

 
This Day in History

 

Word of the Day

 

Today's Birthday

 

In the News

 

Quotation of the Day

 

Match Up

 

Match each word in the left column with its synonym on the right. When finished, click Answer to see the results. Good luck!

 

 

Hangman

 

 

Sunday, March 06, 2011
 

The 65th day of 2011
14 days until spring begins

S M T W T F S
    1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30 31

 


Maple Sap Buckets

 

Sugar’s sweet, but sap is sappier;
Cold nights make the farmers happier!  

The Old Farmer's Almanac, 1989



Welcoming March

The Romans made March the first month of the year. Indeed, it often is a month of firsts—the first daffodil, robin, earthworm, skunk, cabbage. See and share more signs of spring.

Spring itself starts with the vernal equinox on March 20.  Get details on our
 
Seasons chart.

March is notoriously temperamental weatherwise. According to weather proverbs:

If March comes in like a lion, it will go out like a lamb.
If March comes in like a lamb, it will go out like a lion.


The month is alive with fast-moving weather systems and record-breaking storms, such as the blizzard of 1888, which paralyzed the East Coast. We’ve now posted both March and April
 
long-range forecasts for your area.

Out here in the country, March means mud and maple syrup, skeins of migrating geese, and spring cleaning. Pick a warm day, fling open the windows, and let spring blow in!

Quick Clicks

• Know any weather myths? Heard the latest urban legends? See this week's Weather Blog and some amazing photos!
• Planting seeds? Check our
customized
2011 Best Dates to Plant Seeds chart.
• Consult our free Plant guides to grow popular 
vegetables, herbs, and fruit.


Maple sugaring season usually commences about the first week of March. Whether you live in the land of maples or pick up a bottle of real maple syrup from the grocery store, try these recipes:

See more recipes using maple syrup.

 

Gardening Blog

     Gardening Blog: Heart Cucumbers

Exciting New Flowers

Black, blue, and bicolored. See exciting new flowers for 2011! Read and comment on our gardening blog


 


Crafts

Looking for fun kid activities? Try these:

See our Kids Activity Guide for more ideas. 
 

Gardening Blog: Heart Cucumbers

Gardening Blog

Heart-shaped cucumbers will be hitting grocery stores soon. Learn more about these cute cukes.

 


Question of the Day

My grandmother said bluebirds were a sign of something, but I can't remember what. Do you know?
 

There is a weather proverb that states, "Bluebirds are a sign of spring; warm weather and gentle south breezes they bring," and this appears to be true in the northern tier of the United States. Bluebirds do not come north until all chance of winter has passed and they are assured an ample food supply.


Moon Phase

March 06, 2011
07:34 AM

Today's Moon Phase

3%

2 days

 


Rise & Set


Today's Sun

Sunrise

6:43 A.M.

Sunset

6:08 P.M.


Today's Moon Phase

Moonrise

7:01 A.M.

Moonset

8:26 P.M.
 


 


GARDENING

Featured Gardening Articles

 

Frame Gardening

Gardeners use frames to "harden off" seedlings that were started indoors or to start their vegetable plants from seed. Here are tips on how to make a cold frame.

 


Gardening Question of the Day

I have a cereus cactus that has never bloomed. It just keeps sending out shoots, getting long and leggy. How can I make it bloom?
 

Cereus cacti have spectacular, fragrant blossoms, but they aren't known for blooming very often. We don't think the legginess has anything to do with your plant's inability to bloom, but perhaps you can trim some of the excess growth back and root the cuttings. To get your cactus to bloom annually, give it a mixture of equal parts water and 20-20-20 fertilizer monthly during the spring and summer. Don't feed it at all during the fall and winter, and let the plant go a bit dry between waterings. Since this plant prefers to be root-bound, don't repot it too often.
 


Gardening Jobs for March
 

Re-pot houseplants so they will grow well during spring and summer.

Water gloxinias and African violets from the bottom, avoiding getting any water on the leaves. Dust the leaves with a small, soft brush.

Consider ordering a few blueberry plants. Not only will they provide delicious fruit for jams, muffins, and pies, but they are also an excellent choice for landscaping plants, offering scarlet fall foliage and creamy white spring flowers. Blueberries serve neatly in a hedge or as specimen plants.

When choosing fruit trees, remember that apple, apricot, and pear trees need two varieties present to ensure pollination. If space is limited, try peach, nectarine, or sour cherry, which will bear fruit on a single tree.

Garden work should begin when a lump of soil squeezed in the hand is dry enough to fall apart slowly.

Uncover bulb beds and hardy borders near the middle of the month.

Plant deciduous trees and shrubs this month.

Trim out the old canes from the rows of berry bushes. The bramble fruits are borne on new wood of last year's growth.

Prune fruit trees until spring buds swell. Maple and birch should not be pruned until they leaf out.

Sprinkle wood ashes around berries and fruit trees. The potash will enhance the sweetness of the fruit.

Remove mulches from snowdrops and crocuses so the shoots can come through.

Uncover mulched perennial and strawberry beds gradually, pressing into place any plants that have been heaved up.

Dig up over-wintered parsnips as soon as the soil is loose enough. They will not benefit from any additional time in the ground.

Set out pansies as soon as the ground is ready. They'll happily withstand cold weather and will bloom steadily if the spent blossoms are kept picked.

Remove the mulch from your perennial beds gradually. Take it off as the season progresses and add it to your compost pile.

If your compost pile has been frozen all winter, add some manure now and turn it frequently.

Check trellises, latticework, and fences for winter damage. Repair before spring growth begins.

Dormant spraying for fruit trees should be done before spring growth begins.

Resist the temptation to uncover spring-flowering plants such as daffodils and tulips. Mulch may be loosened, but the shoots will still benefit from protection against cold, drying winds.

Manure can be spread over the garden now, especially on the asparagus and rhubarb beds.

Be sure that flats and pots used for starting seed are perfectly clean. Likewise, the soil should be clean and sterile.

Mark and label your sown seeds, indoors and out.

Water newly started seedlings carefully. A pitcher may let the water out too forcefully. A mist sprayer is gentle but can take a long time. Try using a meat basting syringe, which will dispense the water effectively without causing too much soil disruption.

Give peas a chance. The earlier they mature, the sweeter they'll be. Sow them right under the snow, if necessary, but save some for a later planting as well.

Spread dark plastic intended for mulch out over the garden site to hasten the warming of the soil. This will provide for earlier and better germination.

Keep plastic milk jugs or other coverings on hand to protect the flowers of pansies, crocuses, and other early bloomers against the return of severe weather.

Start seedlings of annuals in flats -- aster, larkspur, alyssum, and balsam should be started now (or 6 to 8 weeks before the last frost date in your area). If summer season is short, zinnias should be started now. They will need to be potted up in individual pots after 4 to 5 weeks.

Start some vegetables in flats now: Brussel sprouts, broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, peppers, eggplants, tomatoes, and lettuce are good choices.

Seed alpine strawberries now to make attractive and bountiful hanging baskets for summer.

A peck of March dust and a shower in May, 

\Makes the corn green and the fields gay.


 


 

Word of the Day,

Sunday, March 06, 2011

  • lapidary
  • audio pronunciation
  • \LAP-uh-dair-ee\
  • DEFINITION

noun

1
: a cutter, polisher, or engraver of precious stones usually other than diamonds
2
: the art of cutting gems
  • EXAMPLES

Grandfather had many hobbies, and was especially skilled in both woodworking and lapidary.

"White earned a doctorate degree in homeopathy and acupuncture at Open International University in Colombo, Sri Lanka. In 2000, though, she felt inclined to return home to Bradenton and renew the knowledge she learned from her father, Mikes Howes, a silversmith and lapidary." -- From an article in the Sarasota Herald Tribune (Florida), December 16, 2010

  • DID YOU KNOW?

The Latin word for "stone" is "lapis"; in that language, something "of or relating to stone" is described as "lapidarius." Gem cutters obviously relate well to stone, and during the 14th century someone decided that "lapidarius" should be related to them. The spelling of the term was modified, and it was borrowed into English as a name for both gem cutters and their art. Since the 1700s, "lapidary" has also been used as an adjective describing things having the elegance and precision of inscriptions carved on stone monuments or things relating to the art of gem cutting.

Word Family Quiz: "Dewlap," "dilapidate," "lapel," "laparoscope" -- which of these words descend from "lapis"? The answer is ...

 

Stuart Carlson
Stuart Carlson

 



Wizard of Id - March 6, 2011

Funny Pictures - Cute Kittens

Fraternal Twins


 

cute puppy pictures - u r da wind   beneaf mai earz!

 



Lola - March 6, 2011



Pickles - March 6, 2011

Mutt & Jeff
Mutt & Jeff


Broom-Hilda - March 6, 2011

Travel Humor

Get me off this train

One day a man took the train from Paris to Frankfurt. When he got in he said to the ticket man: 

"Sir. I really need you to do me a favor, I have to get down this train in Mannheim, but I'm very tired and it is for sure that I will fall asleep. So what I want you to do is that you wake me up in Mannheim because I have to close a business there and it is very important for me. Here you have 100 francs for the favor. But I warn you sometimes when people wake me up I get really violent, but no matters what I do or say you got to get me out of this train in Mannheim. Is that clear?" 

So the ticket man agreed and took the 100 francs. Later as the man had said he fall asleep, and when he woke up he realized that he was in Frankfurt. He was so mad at the ticket man that he ran over and started yelling at the ticket man. 

"Are you stupid or something??? I paid you 100 francs so that you wake me up in Mannheim. And you didn't, so I want my money back!" 

While the man was yelling at the ticket guy, two other guys that were also in the train were looking at them, so one turns to the other and says to him: 

Man 1: "Look at this guy! He is mad!" 

Man 2: "Yeah! He's almost as mad as the guy they made get out of the train in Mannheim."
 
 


Run over the rooster

A man was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road strayed a rooster. Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car. A cloud of feathers. 

Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse, rang the door bell. A farmer appeared. The man, somewhat nervously said, "I think I killed your rooster, please allow me to replace him." 

"Suit yourself," the farmer replied, "you can go join the other chickens that are around the back."
 


Tour near glaciers

The following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual guide and his response to questions.

Swiss mountain guides who always do the same trails can get tired answering the same questions over and over. One time an English tourist was giving his guide an especially hard time with silly questions. They were walking through a mountain valley that was strewn with rocks, and the traveler asked, "How did these rocks get here?"

"Sir," said the guide, "they were brought down by a glacier."

The tourist peered up the mountain and said, "But I don't see any glacier."

"Oh, really?" said the guide. "I guess it has gone back for more rocks."

 

DILBERT
The Official Dilbert Website featuring Scott Adams Dilbert strips, animations and more

 


Andy Capp - March 6, 2011

 


Family Tree - March 6, 2011


 

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